Stay at Home Chaos

Frustration is common in a house with small children. Ory is a monkey and has reminded me he’s turning 2 years old soon. He’s being especially evil this week. I’m extra frustrated today. After dealing with Ory’s antics yesterday, which were much worse than usual, Tim has decided to join the ranks of making Mom mad.

You see, Tim has a tendency to do specific behaviors that is most annoying and frustrating. One of these behaviors is when he has to pick who to make mad at him, he always picks me. I’m tired of being mad at him because he decided he would much rather disappointment me or frustrate me than whoever the other party is. It’s typically either his parents or his work, but there are other people too. When we go out to eat as a group, I typically vote for Chinese food and he votes for Mexican. I don’t like Mexican and he doesn’t like Chinese. He wins 95% of the time. I recall winning once when we happened to have an asian girl with us. Her opinion mattered, you know.

Another thing he tends to do is not tell me anything until the last minute because he knows I’ll disagree. This goes along the lines of back when I was pregnant with Evie and went to visit his parents in Ohio. He promised me there would be no party or anything of the sort. We got there, and guess what there was? A party. He knew about it. He didn’t tell me until right before so I would be unable to do anything about it. This happened again the second time we were going to go, except I got an invite in the mail about said party and was upset at finding out that way. Tim told me that just his grandparents would be going, and after I talked with his Mom, I learned that it wasn’t the case. I still don’t know whether he was trying to deceive me or not.

Today is a good example of both bad behaviors. Yesterday, he told me he had a meeting today at 9:30 am that he had to attend. He asked if it would be OK if he woke me up if he needed me. Well, yeah, it’s OK! What he didn’t tell me was that what he really meant is he had to go to work today and wouldn’t be home at all. This morning, he woke me up at 6:30 am, telling me he needed to go to work to attend that meeting. Yeah, he didn’t tell me until half an hour before he would be leaving. I was angry. He knew he had to go to that meeting and didn’t tell me yesterday. He didn’t even tell me when the meeting was first set. Mostly, I was mad that he waited until then to tell me because yesterday I scheduled furniture to be delivered this morning because, you know, Tim would be home. If I had known yesterday, I could’ve scheduled it to be delivered this evening because it was a curbside delivery. This infuriates me. I make plans around his schedule and he’s lying about his schedule. I told him he isn’t sorry yet, but he would be if he left. He left.

He told me he’d drive to work so he could come home early. He said he’d stay at home tomorrow instead. I could care less if he stays home tomorrow. I don’t need him tomorrow. I needed him today, not tomorrow. Well, I texted him a question about a new bedding set I was considering getting Ory (Cars or Toy Story because there is no toddler-sized WALL•E). He said Toy Story. Considering he answered me quickly, I asked him if he was in his car or on the train. He was on the train. That means he did not drive to work and he will not be home early. The earliest he can leave work now is one hour before usual. That means still 5.5 hours after the latest the furniture delivery will show up. He lied about driving to work. He changed his mind about staying home last night after I went to sleep, and he changed his mind about driving to work within 30 minutes of waking me up and didn’t tell me until I asked. I’m very mad at him right now.

I asked him what about the delivery. He told me to get them to put it in the garage. Problem. Last weekend I told him to clean the garage out, particularly the large boxes that need cut up and taken into recycling (which I’ll end up doing because he never cuts up large boxes and they stay in the garage for months, just like the cans he ‘recycles’). 1/3 our three car garage is unusable. One parking spot is taken. So he told me to move that car out of the garage and put it there.

I moved that car. I’m now wondering if I’ll ever get that space back. The delivery guy came and went at 9:30 am. There was 9 boxes, we only counted 8. The 9th was missing, but we also noticed that the two bunkie boards were taped together. We think that is 8 and 9. If we’re missing a box, he told me to call the delivery company and see if we can find it. There was one Disney box but it had a different address on it, so we don’t know what that goes to. We’ll see if it all works out. Ory and Evie ran in some puddles while the delivery guy left the stuff in our garage.

I’m still mad at Tim. Yesterday, I reminded him that Father’s Day is Sunday. He made a last minute order for his dad. It’ll get there Saturday with 2-day shipping. I wasn’t going to tell him at all because he relies too much on me for remembering dates and ordering presents for him. But I knew yesterday was the last day he could place a 2-day delivery and get it there in time, so I told him anyway.

Tim also took the taste-test last night. He didn’t taste a THING. That means he is taste-blind and I’m your average taster. He now has no excuse to not like vegetables because he can’t even taste the bitterness in them. It also explains his love of things that I find too strong to have too much of.

This deserves a post all of it’s own. Early last week, the downstairs toilet clogged. We didn’t know why. It didn’t help that Tim used it after I had informed him of the clog, and that Evie kept using it too. Plunging it didn’t help. I plunged it for a couple of days when it finally started flushing normally. Then Evie did her business in it and it wouldn’t flush again. Rinse and repeat this cycle for a week. Once, Tim said he definitely fixed it, just as I had said several times before. He thought he had it… Until Evie used it and it stopped working again.

Finally, Tim saw the source of the clog. A giant bouncy ball the kids got for Easter. We have two of them. One was in the toilet. Tim spotted the problem, and his brain started working right away. If only the water wasn’t in the toilet, he could reach the ball easier and pull it out! Now how would would drain the water from the toilet… That’s it! He flushed the toilet. And down went the ball. The brilliance astounds me.

After some persuasion, Tim agreed to remove the toilet. He didn’t want me calling a plumber for some odd reason, but he didn’t want to remove the toilet himself either. The thought of the cost of a plumber helped him decide. The last one was expensive.

Out came the toilet! Then we found the source of a leak we’ve been having. He went out to buy parts. Then we had to figure out how to get the ball out of the toilet. Several ideas didn’t work. At one point, I was taking a picture and was preoccupied in my own thoughts. Tim tells me he told me what his plan was at that point, but I heard nothing. My silence was supposedly taken as approval of his plan so he executed it. According to him, what happened next it my fault for not objecting to something I didn’t hear (and I don’t think he told me, either). He used a tool and PUSHED the ball that we could clearly see ‘loose’. Except it didn’t get loose. Instead, it went further back into the toilet where we couldn’t see it and it didn’t come out. When he told me what he did, I was again shocked by the cleverness of his actions. If you can’t pick up my sarcasm by now, you need to realize how irritated I was by this point.

After more fiddling, here is what worked. We poured water in the remove toilet. If the toilet wasn’t clogged, it would spill all over the floor. But it was clogged, so it stayed in place. We then proceeded to use the plunger until we heard a weird sound. We flipped the toilet over, and the ball was at the bottom opening, loose but too big to come out. We used a butter knife to pry it out. Problem solved! The toilet was put back into place and we haven’t had a problem since.

We think Ory put the ball in the toilet. Evie just doesn’t do stuff like that.

Today is our 5 year wedding anniversary. Tim got me a real wedding ring set, and I gave him a tent to go camping in. It’s a really large tent. He put it up yesterday and took it down. We considered making a last minute camping trip, but since we’ve never been on one, we don’t have the right stuff, so we’re not going to. Instead, we plan on going to the beach this weekend. We haven’t decided which beach, but a beach we will go!

While I was making lunch, Tim and I were talking about slider hamburgers. This influenced Tim to go order some slider burger kit from Amazon, and a burger patty presser of some sort. I immediately got irritated. I informed him he should know better and told him to make himself some hotdogs. While outside, I got on his computer and canceled his order. Why? I’ll get to that. I then go into the office, with a grudge, and come out with Tim’s Father’s Day presents. The exact same things Tim ordered on Amazon. He always does that.

After nap time, we went over to our neighbors moving yard sale. They move after Father’s Day. The kids played together while Trish oogled over Kiki. They have a son 9 months older than Evie and a daughter 1 month younger than Ory. We helped a little to put their stuff back in the garage, but not too much. They gave Ory some Cars shows which he can fit later. Ory was wearing a car shirt and kept migrating over to her sons Car chair, so it was fitting. They also gave them each a teddy bear, and watched Evie throw a tantrum when it was time to go.

Evie screamed all the way home. When we got to the door, she took off. I had to chase her down. She went by the side of the house, to the park out back, and sat on the bench exclaiming how she was right where she wanted to be. I dragged her back to the house, forced her inside, through the living room, through the play room, and right to the backyard, where she was instantly happy again. We both win!

PS. Thanks for the e-card!

Most married people have a love life. All should, but only most do. I have three small children and a ‘always seems to be busy’ husband, so mine is mild. Today is the beginning of WWDC. Friday is my 5 year wedding anniversary. On top of it all, I had a baby 4 months ago with a 9 month pregnancy leading to the birth, which was limiting things in its own special way.

I needed attention yesterday. I really, really needed it. Tim has been busy for WWDC for a month. The previous month had no results. Anyway, yesterday, we were determined. Tim was stressing out and needed to de-stress, and I’m a willing party to assist. Everyone was down for their nap! How often does THAT happen? Perfect. While we’re just mostly chatting in our bedroom (how often do we even MAKE it in there?) Evie comes running in out of no where. Back to nap with you! As she gets brought back into her room, Kiki wakes up. She isn’t persuaded as easily. Mission abandoned. We go downstairs to get Kiki when the phone rings. Work! Work for Tim. Apparently, our timing was really bad.

Then it was bed time. Mission acquired. Ory and Evie was just put down and Kiki was fast asleep. During our attempt, Ory tried to escape, Kiki almost woke up, the dogs almost woke everyone up, and the cat knocked something down the stairs freaking Tim out. This whole attempt took over 1 hour and failed. Tim’s given up and I’m in tears.

Ah, nothing like pity love. I’m not counting on anything for my anniversary. I already got my present! Tim got me some real wedding rings. A wedding band and engagement ring set. My last ring was $30 from Wal-Mart and I outgrew it when I got pregnant with Evie. I swelled up, gained 20 pounds that I never lost, and I swear, my knuckles and my feet are wider. I’d like to go to Yosemite for our anniversary, but we haven’t made any arrangements for the dogs, so it isn’t looking likely. Maybe later.

I’m married to a Mr. Fixit. He also happens to be the “fix what’s not broken” type. Years ago, I had a vacuum that had something wrong with it. I don’t recall what, but Tim decided to fix it. He put oil on it which successfully melted my vacuum brush within moments of turning it back on. Mr. BreakIt struck. I’ve had bad thoughts of him converting my things into dangerous power tools on steroids which leads to their untimely death ever since. It sounded terrible.

Two years ago, my vacuum broke. Tim got me a new vacuum for Mother’s Day early. This vacuum has lasted with constant upkeep the past two years. It finally broke. To fix or get a new one… We went out and got a new Dyson DC25. I’m sure a brand new one will be released in a couple months because it didn’t cost $500 anymore. So Mr. BreakIt didn’t break the already broken vacuum any further, but replaced it.

Yesterday, my Mother’s Day present got here. I asked for a treadmill and he got me a Mobia. I’m sure that because it was designed by Frog Design is a leading reason why he picked it. It squeaks. The left portion squeaks. I’m not an work out machine enthusiast, so I don’t know a single thing about them, other than I need to exercise. I told Mr. BreakIt to leave it alone, I’m sure it’ll stop squeaking after some use. I then went and talked to my sister.

Tim later puts the children down to bed, so I decide to try out my new piece of equipment while he’s upstairs. I immediately figured out something was wrong with it and stopped using it. When Tim came downstairs, I asked him, “What did you do to it?” He grinned his sly grin and asked me what I meant. He was caught red handed. He then admitted to loosening some bolts. Is he trying to kill me? I made him tighten it back up. That didn’t fix it. He then got out some paper towels and started drying this pump-like thing off, the thing that was squeaking (and still squeaking, might I add). I then asked him what else he did. Mr. BreakIt added OIL to it.

This was followed by a conversation of why he lied to me, did it behind my back, couldn’t keep his hands off of something I told him to leave alone, etc. He did it because he knew I’d say no.

This man is helping raise our children. I’m afraid.

Oh, beards, how you plague me. I’m actively having a conversation with my sister about them. You see, Tim just got himself an electric razor last weekend and shaved. First, he used my dog sheers to tame the beastly beard, then he used his new electric razor. WALL•E ran in fear. Then, this morning, Tim informs me he has shaved again, as if desperately looking for praise.

I don’t get it. Back when we started dating and he was living with his parents, he always kept his face shaven. He may have left a goatee, but it was tamed. When we moved an hour away, he started shaving not so often. Then we moved to California and he shaved good for a little bit… Then he started once a week. Then we had kids. Now he shaves once every other week. Except this past month, he hadn’t shaved at all. He is so poor at shaving, he looks for praise!

But, when we still lived in Ohio, it was a sure deal that he’d shave either Saturday or Sunday morning. Why? Because we’d be visiting his parents on Sunday! If we go visit in Ohio now, he shaves. If his parents come and visit, he shaves. I think he failed to do it once. He hasn’t been shaving for web cam chats though. I really, really wonder what he’s going to do when they visit next. Perhaps his newfound goal to keep a tame face will stick around?

Tim’s beard is turning gray. It’s cute.

Everyone needs this list, and they should add to it every opportunity. Perhaps I should make my own page for it? We’ll see.

1. He is a cat person. Need I say more?
2. He can sleep anywhere. I have jealousy issues over this ability.
3. He is a perfectionist. Everything is done right, even if it takes multiple attempts.
4. I love how he snores just a little bit, yet denies it. It’s adorable and actually helps me sleep.
5. He’ll stay up in the morning just to make me pancakes before going back to sleep.
6. He knows how to make my tea just the way I like it.
7. He tolerates my morning perkiness.
8. I love that he’s artistic, even though I don’t like his type of art preference.
9. He reads the kids stories before bed every night.
10. He lets me have me-time when I ask for it.
11. He is an overachiever.
12. He is the father of my children.
13. He supports most of my sudden interests.
14. He appreciates the work I put into my dream job as a stay-at-home-mom.
15. He has his dream job.
16. He makes good financial decisions. I trust him in our finances completely.
17. He’ll run to the store at night to get essential items I need the next day.
18. He doesn’t do drugs, smoke, or drink alcoholic beverages. These are very important to me.
19. He is a huge geek. Sometimes I wish he’d tone it down a bit, but I love it just the same.
20. I love how excited he gets when he starts a project, like major home improvements.
21. I love how we can enjoy innocent pranks on each other.
22. He’ll let the kids cover him in Hello Kitty stickers.
23. He loves his ladder and his tools. Yes, I find this cute.
24. If he commits, the commitment is for life.

Should I make a separate page and add on this list forever? Yes or yes?

Edited to add: New page has been created. It’s titled Loving You and you can find the link at the top of the page.

Let’s face it, this blog is called Stay at Home Chaos, not Happily Ever After. I picked this title for a reason.

I can’t sit down, yet I can’t stand up. If I get up, Kiki wakes up and cries because she isn’t being bounced in her chair. If I sit down to take care of Kiki, the other two do something which requires to stand up. You can’t imagine how long it takes me to complete some blog posts.

I went to the bathroom. This is one thing to avoid. Answering the call of nature ensures that you must clean up after a path of destruction. Today wasn’t too bad. I go to do my business and find Evie and Ory in the office, which they aren’t supposed to be in. I carry Ory out kicking and screaming. Evie leaves peacefully knowing she’ll get another chance to sneak in. I change Ory because he also did his business. He screams the whole time making absolutely sure that Kiki woke up. He was mad that he was evicted from the office and had to lay still all within 30 seconds of each other.

I go to bounce Kiki when Evie decides to throw the pillows on the floor. Over and over again. I pick them up each time, meaning I’m not bouncing Kiki who is upset. Fine. Kiki is awake and not happy to be awake. I can’t sit still anyway, so I pick up a blanket that Evie shouldn’t have had in the first place and pick up the blanket that Tim always kindly leaves out for me to get in the morning. I also picked up his clothes, again. I would say I’m not a laundry service, but I’m beginning to doubt myself.

I haven’t picked up the toys in weeks. Why? Because Ory has just recently stopped pushing the toy box to reach places. He does it every now and then, but not as persistent as he once was. That means we’re winning. If I put the toys back in the toy box, I’m worried it will cause new interest in pushing it places. I also haven’t been putting the smaller toys in their area either. He uses the cubbies to climb places too. The storage units have been sitting on the stairs beyond the babygate. That means NO TOYS downstairs has been put up. They are flung around the house in random areas. I want to pick them up, but I have no motivation. What good will it do?

I have been rather successful at keeping Evie’s room cleaned up. Ory’s room is always clean because he doesn’t play in there yet. I have found that if I keep up after something long enough, Tim either catches on and helps consistently, or doesn’t touch it at all. By picking up Evie’s books every week or two, Tim never picked up her books even though he was the one reading to her every night. I was essentially picking up after his mess. By cleaning her room every morning, and sometimes after nap time if I can get to it, Tim has started putting her books away. Why is there a difference? I don’t understand. Evie wants her room picked up now.

I have come to the conclusion that picking up after Tim’s clothes is a never ending battle. He has stopped throwing wet towels on the bed and leaving them there. I also haven’t picked up clothing three feet from the laundry basket in a while. He also only puts his clothes next to the bed (and forgetting them) occasionally. The clothes downstairs has been getting worse though.

Also, why is it when he is out of some clothing that he won’t do laundry but wear something he hasn’t touched in years? That is usually my first clue that he’s missing something. He doesn’t say, “I need socks,” or start laundry. He just wears fancy socks and hopes I notice. I don’t go digging through his drawers counting how much he has left of something. I assume he has enough until laundry time. I don’t know why sometimes he has enough while others he runs out way too quickly.

Tim has half the sprinkler system installed. He’ll finish it this weekend, assuming it doesn’t rain like it’s predicted on Sunday. I managed to get Tim to hang up the pictures of Kiki that I had framed and waiting. Luckily, we have a tall wall. We have all the baby pictures grouped. We have yet to hang up a single Christmas picture although we have some. My background image is still of Evie and Ory on Christmas.

Tim also child locked the remaining cabinets, except the one drawer that I messed up and needed fixed. Of course, that one drawer is what he is always dragging stuff out of. He child locked the audio cabinet too. We never have to deal with Ory changing channels, turning things off, or freezing everything, ever again!

Speaking of Ory, I’m inches away from removing the vertical blinds from the sliding glass door. He keeps running into the blinds, grabbing them, turning in circles until one or many breaks off. Once they break off, I rarely can get them back on to stay. Normally the little piece is broken. Several of the things won’t turn now too. Tim doesn’t want no blinds in front of the door because people can see in. I can see a total of three houses from that door, and only the second story. To me, that’s not a big deal. Evie has also gained enough strength to open the sliding door. It’s difficult to open, yet she can do it.

I’ve been having difficulty getting to sleep. It’s been taking me two hours just to fall asleep. I went to bed after midnight yesterday. Evie woke up at 11:30 pm and I had to put her back down. Then I did all my night time stuff. I was in bed by 12:30 am for sure. Ory woke up at 2:00 am, so he laid in bed with me for a little bit before I moved him back in his room. So I know for sure I was still up at 2:30 am. Tim woke me up to get Kiki at 6:30 am. For some reason, my voice wasn’t working. I tried talking but nothing came out. I got it back pretty quickly though.

I’m close to finishing a science class in my online university. This requires me to conduct an experiment and report on it. I’m waiting for my last submissions to pass first before I begin on it though. I’m not a very scientific person. I’m considered doing either the effects of salt on boiling water or mento’s effects on different colas. Who knows which I’ll pick.