So I’m not a very crunchy mother. My house is dirty, I don’t buy local produce, I don’t obtain only eco-friendly toys, I prefer to buy new, and I love fast-food. I don’t have a problem with crunchy mothers though. As long as they leave my happy kids alone, I’ll leave their happy kids alone. I can be mean and stubborn. Most mothers claim to be firm and patient, but I’m not going to make it sound better than it really is. My kid will act up in the store. If they do, they get escorted out which typically makes them more mad. But I’m ok with that.

Having said that, I’d love to be a bit more eco-friendly like crunchy moms. I just suck at it. It’s not one of my talents. My talents consist of juggling 3 hungry children and morning sickness. I’m really good at getting all the kids in the car on time or no later than 5 minutes late. I always aim to leave early anyway, so my 5 minutes late isn’t late at all. I’m not up for making my own soap or carving my own hairbrush either.

My recycle bins showed up yesterday! Yay! We were already recycling, but this will make my garage look better. I won’t have a pile of cans in trash bags anymore. They’ll go straight into the bin with no waste to the bags. When they are full, Tim will theoretically haul them to the recycle center to get some cash back. The stuff we can’t get cash back for will be put in the normal recycle bin which is picked up every other week. Yay for moving forward!

My compost bin is also going to come in the next couple of weeks. That’s another step in the right direction, I think. It’s a new step as well. Now I just have to figure out exactly how compost bins work, because Tim has a tendency to say he’ll take responsibility for something, then not. (Let me know when you’re ready to start cleaning the litterbox on your days, Tim.) So anyway, I best pay attention so I can do it too. However, I’m a slacker too. Especially when pregnant. I hope this works out ok.

Our backyard progress has been at a stand-still lately. We’re considering finishing the porch this weekend, but first we want to go look at stones and materials to get an idea of what we’ll need. We’ll probably need to rent a truck in order to relocate the materials we need. It’ll be very pretty when we’re done with it. Then we can add the flower boxes and steps. Then, next spring, I can plant some flowers! I will then kill my flowers with my fail at keeping plants alive, so I’ll sulk for a while. I have ordered a compost-thing that Tim wanted which should get here sometime next week. Non-related, I ordered some stackable recycle bins to use in the garage that should come in handy (they were cheap too!). I should get those in a couple days. Tim has been wanting something like that too.

I want to relocate my rabbits back to where they were, but I don’t know if Tim is going to cooperate. He likes them on the porch. I’m thinking if I try to move them to a patch of grass that hasn’t grown back in, that he’ll be more willing to get them off the porch. They’ll be helpful when it comes to getting our compost started, with all their hay bedding and rabbit droppings. My future dead plants will also work. You can see I don’t do gardening very well. I have a low tolerance for heat, pollen, and nature in general. I hate the outdoors. I’d love to fix this problem as my kids LOVE the outdoors. I sprayed them with a hose earlier. I don’t think Evie likes going outside with me anymore. Ory loves me that much more though.

Actively, Kiki is practicing her outside voice because she’s in her highchair and finished her snack and wants out. She pulled herself to a standing position today! She’s been pulling herself to her knees, but she made it all the way up to her feet today.

Us parents had to leave. Evie was the only one who screamed. Then they wouldn’t let us huddle in the hallway. I start heading to my car when I realized I left my paperwork inside. I snuck in the classroom and grabbed it (and saw someone else left theirs in the same spot). Evie was actively looking for me. She didn’t scream again though. I hurried out and headed home.

Tim set up alarms on my iPhone so I don’t forget to drop her off or pick her up. I played Harvest Moon: Animal Parade since Kiki and Ory were napping and Evie was in preschool. I should’ve done laundry. Then I was off to get my daughter! Happy day!

I pull up. Oh no. Evie had someone elses backpack. I didn’t give Evie hers. I immediately inform them that that isn’t hers. I’m embarrassed. Evie got so upset that I wouldn’t let her keep the Tinker Bell backpack. Other than that, she was fine. When we got home, she immediately went looking for her Stuffy and gave him a warm greeting. Then I dug out HER backpack which she hasn’t used in a year.

Later, we went out to get Evie some new shoes. Evie wore sandals and they apparently require socks to be worn with sandals. That’s just silly. So we got her normal shoes. She needed to go up a size anyway. I also picked her up some cold-weather clothes, as we’ve had a couple of cold days already. Doesn’t hurt to be ready!

Today, it’s day #2 of preschool. I won’t be walking her in today and I’ll be bringing the other 2 children with me. Evie’s already excited. She wants to go. I’m glad she enjoyed it.

Later, we’re going to the circus! We’ll leave in about 30 minutes. I may say that, but the kids probably won’t let us leave on time. So we gave ourselves extra time to get there. We got 4 tickets and Kiki can sit on our lap for free because she’s under 2 years. It’s a nice box seat too. Tim got it from work! Now thats a perk I can get to fall in love with… Tickets for child entertainment! Yay! I’m actually very excited about it. I was told I had been to a circus before, but I don’t remember. I really want to go even if the kids won’t remember it. Evie loves elephants and I’m assuming they’ll have some. It should go down well if we can keep our kids in their seat. Super glue, anyone?

With Evie starting preschool, it means Ory’s nap time is also going to be put under schedule. He can’t nap as long as he wants anymore, because I have to pick Evie up after school. If we went with morning classes, she’d have to wait a long time. Afternoon classes don’t have a wait and means they should be less crowded.

I’m a bit anxious about sending Evie into someone else’s care every single day. We’ve never used a babysitter, so I’m clueless how this is going to work. I just know it’ll work. She loves kids. When she realizes she gets to play with other kids, she’ll be fine.

Kiki started getting on her knees and bouncing up and down in the cute baby dance. This means nothing to her mobility. She can already army-crawl anywhere in the house. She’s just trying to figure out normal crawling. She loves sitting up as well, but she can’t get to her tummy by herself if you sit her up. She tries falling forwards and her legs get in the way.

Tim also got me birthday cake and ice cream. We put candles in the cake and let the kids go at it. You can put an unlit candle in front of Ory and he still tries to blow it out. My kids are adorable little monsters.

I’m not very happy today though. I had a depressing time before bed and it has carried on into this morning. My eyes are swollen and I battled the need to throw up all night. My dreams were even against me. In my dreams, people are waving different items in front of me to see what would make me sick. Then I’d wake up dry-heaving. It was a hard night. Then all 3 kids got up consecutively this morning. I didn’t brush my teeth because I knew it’d make me sick. Instead, I got everyone downstairs and got sick once I got down here. Then Tim left for work. This goes back to why I was depressed to begin with. I have no one here. No one. No support. No babysitter. No friends. When I need help, I have to rely on Tim, and I never know when I’ll get the support. I don’t get it today. I hope I can stay awake.

I’ve decided that I’m just way too tired to continue my school work. Tim agrees with me. I’m having problems keeping up as it is. My concentration is quickly straying and my free time is going as well. I don’t enjoy my me-time anymore because I’m tired and just want to sleep. I won’t be ever going back to school. I’m going to have 4 kids. I think it’ll be best if I just stay home. WIth my luck, when they’re in school, they’d each get sick on different days of the week.

I learned today that my cousin, Jimmy, has estranged himself from our grandma within the past month or so. I’m ecstatic. Our ranks are growing. I’m not speaking to her, Jimmy isn’t speaking to her, and I know several other of my cousins, her grandchildren, despise her as well. I like knowing that there are others who feel the same as I do. That it isn’t just me. Here’s to a wonderful future!

I talked with my university mentor about what to do now. His idea is to make me work harder so I can have a break when the time comes. I hope I can pull it off. I have little time as it is.

Our neighbor, Denny, came by last night as well. Gossip ensued. Last Saturday, I noticed a couple fire trucks, 2 EMTs and several police officers across the street. Once everyone cleared away, a woman got in her car and followed. I saw that Denny was over there during all of that. Now we know what happened. A girl named Elizabeth who lived over there had died unexpectedly. She was 17 years old. Her funeral is tomorrow morning. Out of Denny and Tim, I was the only one of us three who even knew her name immediately. I looked up her obituary to learn a bit more about her. I check the obituaries of where I grew up, but I never considered checking the local ones. I would have immediately recognized her if I did check. That’s a shock though. No idea how she died. Sad day.

I had my doctor appointment yesterday during nap time. That way I was leaving Tim with sleeping babies. I get in there, do the cup thing, and my most favorite nurse asks me, “Were you planning for #4?” I tell her I was not. She responded, “Well, you’re having one anyway!” Pregnancy confirmed. We chatted a bit, which lead to me jokingly stating, “I got pregnant because I just missed you guys so much!” She laughed and claimed that she knew that must be the reason why.

I got seen by my doctor. Told him what happened, dates, symptoms, and he says they don’t add up. I’m 7 weeks according to my LMP, but my symptoms aren’t up to par with it yet. I was just recently hit with fatigue, for example. Nausea is getting worse, but I haven’t thrown up yet. I’ve had absolutely no breast soreness, which is unusual for me. I got my pap smear and breast exam done. I know the drill. I go out to the front desk where I’m greeted by a bunch of ecstatic receptionists. “We get you got another 9 months!” and “I’m SO happy!” I just knew they missed me. I get my next appointment scheduled, my ultrasound scheduled, and my paperwork to get my blood work done.

I almost opt to do my blood work next week, because Tim is home with the babies and they’d probably be waking up soon. I call while I’m in the car to see if I can do it now, he says it’s OK. I go back inside to the lab. Here’s where the fun starts.

Receptionist: Is it your first?
Me: No, it’s my fourth. But it’s my first accident so I’m doing pretty good.
Receptionist: My daughter was an accident. She was the best thing that ever happened to me! Things happen for a reason. You’ll love this baby! How old are your kids?
Me, while wishing she hadn’t asked: Three. Two ….. 6 months.

Now, the moment I said “6 months” is when her eyes widened. “Hey, you asked.” I said. It was interesting. So I wait until the nurse gets in to take my blood. I get pulled back and she informs me I also have to use the cup again. I just peed an hour ago! Luckily, having been in this situation before, I still managed to go. I have talent. So I get my blood drawn.

Nurse: Is this your first?
Not again… I can see where THIS is going.
Me: My fourth.
Nurse: I have 2. How old are they?
Me: Three. Two….6 months.

Again, as I say “6 months,” her eyes widen.

Nurse: Wow! Mine are 5 and 1. You’re lucky to be pregnant now though, that way you won’t be pregnant when it’s the middle of summer like my youngest was last year.
Me: Yes, I know. One was born in July. My two year old just turned two.

It makes me feel better that I know someone who’s baby is due two days before her baby turns one. But it’ll be her second. I feel like a freak of nature though. I’m waiting for the sarcastic comments of people thinking they’re being clever to start. I’m starting to get moody, so it’s not going to be pretty.

Ory had a Cars cake for his birthday. Evie blew out one of his candles, but he got the other one. Evie had jealousy issues throughout the whole thing. From us he got a large talking Buzz Lightyear, and small batteryless figures of Buzz Lightyear, Woody, and Jessie. He also had another Buzz Lightyear figure and a bucket of army men that I confiscated to not be used for birthday purposes. He hasn’t received those yet. His Aunt Laura got him a play toolset that everyone seems to love, including Kiki. Tim’s parents got him some clothes (which he despises but Evie loves), a Buzz Lightyear plushie, a book that was torn immediately, and some sand toys for the new sandbox. He got $10 from a great-grandma. His present from my mom hasn’t shown up yet. I have a feeling that I’m forgetting something, but I can’t remember what it is if I am.

Here’s some pictures.

Evie was giving unwrapping privileges because she pouted. Tim’s parents got her a present, but one wasn’t enough. I’ve decided that we aren’t going to allow the “other kids can have presents too” thing anymore. I can’t imagine doing this another year. They need to learn that their siblings have their own special days.